Assbook

If you know me and have been reading my past websites, it is no surprise to know that I hate facebook in so many ways, so many levels.

First of all, people… If you hate being surrounded by idiots like I do, then facebook is like a throwing yourself in the idiot virtual fest. People will force add you, invite you to their stupid list, spam you dumb games or trivia and most of all, tag your pictures without you knowing it. I already deal daily with idiots, I’m not masochist enough to in addition log in an idiot online world.

Second of all, people (again)… when I had my facebook account just to try it out, I was actually one of the few who deleted people and thus having a shrinking “friend” list. Believe it or not, some got upset and thought I wasn’t their friend in real life! Well fuck them. If you react that way, it means your not smart enough to be around me in the first place. I kept receiving dumb hugs, trivia, stupid games etc. I know that you have the option to ignore those when they appear, I just wish facebook would have implemented a “fuck off” button to click when I received an invite.

Third, security. when you create an account on facebook, that’s it… you’re listed in their server and when you want to delete your account, guess what… you can’t. That’s right, you’re for ever property of facebook. If you reaaaally wanna be out of their servers, you have to start this very long and annoying process with motivation letter and blabla… it would be less annoying to drop a bomb in facebook headquarters, it would save everyone tons of time and do this world a favor. That of course is directly related to security breaches. They now have robbers and buglers who check your facebook status to see if you’re on holiday and then, will come to your house and have a pee festival (or whatever, you’re not there). “Oooh but I don’t post my real address on facebook lol…” right, you’d think that’s a problem for these professionals… allow me to sit and die laughing.

Fourth, facebook is probably the biggest time waster the internet has came up with. People are so bored that they create groups for everything. “Hey, I have a white cat, let’s make a group about that lol!!11″… These groups are popular for one single reason: they give you the feeling that your opinions matter. I have big news for you, they don’t (it’s ok, don’t cry… go check what harry potter character you are to cheer you up). Your opinion is as important as your dumb pixelated neighbor. And about wasting time, I’ve met people spending so many hours during office work surfing facebook that I was wondering if that was their job. How about creating a “moron group”? Oh wait, it’s call facebook.

Sure facebook is a good marketing tool but that’s only because there are so many people in it. Say for example I gather a million idiots into a cave and tell them “Hey idiots, I sell ice cream for only 2$” then that’s it, I’ve reached one million potential customers. Some of my friends have promoted me in facebook so every now and then, I do get visitors coming from there. But there’s one thing my friends forgot; facebook is all about ME ME ME. Status updates (that no one cares), photo gallery, amount of “friends”… it’s all about ME.

Tania Gupta from examiners.com has written a fairly good article about people on facebook and how badly they behave. People actually start to cheat on their partner thanks to facebook. She even mentions murdering because of status change. Here’s the thing, we’ve giving the world a tool to gather all in the same place and interact. If you think that’s actually great, then you’re obviously not seeing how many idiots are around you which means only one thing… you’re an idiot yourself looking for your little fame among these popular wannabes.

Oh and do you know Sting?

“Every Post you make
Every Pic you take
Every Friend you fake
For Facebook’s sake
I’ll be watching you.”

[edit] After I wrote that above article, I started to wonder if I was the only one with such strong aversion about that retarded social bang fest so I looked around and found that video from Aron on Youtube (he does the “12 fucks about something” gig…). He’s okaaay, not hilarious but he reminds me of a friend. Enjoy.

[edit 2] I came across Happy Slip’s video on Facebook and I loved it so much that I decided to replace the previous retarded video. She actually likes facebook but the way she criticizes it proves my point.

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