Photos

I literally hate photos of myself. Not that I find myself ugly or anything… I’m actually awesome. But there’s something about having your face on a frame that doesn’t suit me well… People usually don’t understand why because they might find me narcissistic and therefore, expect me to be on all pictures possible: wrong. I have a big ego which is completely different.

First of all, the pose… People always pose the same way… if there’s something more boring than a picture pose, it’s probably a feminist babbling … Look at 90% of your pictures, you’ll find people standing there, awkwardly smiling. But the worst got to be the “victory sign” pictures… If I happen to be the photographer and I see this, I would probably take a picture of their feet. Japanese (and then other Asians influenced) love that position… retards. And don’t start me with grown ups doing the “V sign” behind someone’s head…

The smile. The photographer usually have the tendency of saying “say cheeeese”… How dumb is that? Does he really believe we don’t know how to smile??? To me it clearly says “alright guys, I’m gonna push the button so when I say it, you will pronounce a word that will make you look like you’re smiling but really you’re just saying a word… it’s an old photographer trick, don’t try to understand.”… yeah… fuck you.

Technology. Right because now everything is digital. Which in most cases is a good thing but when it comes to photography, digital simply means your face could end up in any website, dumb social places like facebook (if I ever catch a picture of me on facebook, I’ll hunt you down to chinatown). And because there’s literally unlimited tries, people take a billion shots of that same pose which of course takes for ever.

Groups. That’s one occasion why you’d take a photo. So all the above still apply to a group picture that’s for sure. But in addition, everyone wants to have a picture taken with his/her camera!!! “Oh wait wait wait lol, take a picture with MY camera too please lollylol!!!”. Shut the fuck up… you will have the exact same picture as the previous shot. It’s digital, have it emailed to you moron.

The accessories. Many times, pictures are taken at restaurants or at parties. Have you noticed that many proudly raise their mug beer? What are you implying? That you’re an alcoholic? Are you drinking for the shot? Get lost.

Finally, last but not least, are the pictures taken when you visit a place as a tourist. Like people posing in front of the Eiffel tower… I mean what’s that? Are you taking the picture so that you have a proof you went there? Most monuments and touristic landscape are beautiful and all of the sudden you thought that placing your ugly ass face would make it better? What? It’s for “memories?” You mean you took the picture because you might forget you went to that place??? How dumb are you?

Do I run away when someone tries to take a picture of me? No ’cause we live in a society. But I do try to avoid as much as I can (most of the time, I take the picture).

All the above has one paradoxical conclusion: I like taking photos. Not of me for the obvious above reasons, but because photography is really about the moment. A few years ago, during my trip to Tokyo, I took many pictures of what could seem unnecessary things (like a vending machine or a non-smoking wall) but turns out… it was way better that way because it was the “moment”.

The MOMENT mothafuckas, not your yellow teeth and your oily skin… the MOMENT!

(3 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)

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