Avatar

Oh boy oh boy oh boy… so much to say about the Avatar movie. I have given it way more thinking that it deserves but let’s put everything into perspective. First of all, let’s talk about numbers. Avatar brags that it has reached something like a 2 billion dollars revenue… it even broke Titanic’s record it had +10 years ago. Am I the only one seeing that +10 years ago, there were less people on this planet, ticket cost less and there was no 3D glasses charged ? hmmm k. Let’s do some basic math here. Titanic cost 200 millions and has made around 1’800 millions. Now Avatar cost 500 millions and has made 2’000 millions. From Titanic to Avatar, there’s a 2,5 ratio and last time I checked, 2,5 X 1’800 millions is not equal to 2’000 millions. Yes yes, Titanic has been around for +10 years so the idea is to see if in 10 years Avatar will reach 4’500 millions. Point is, both movie cost way too much and both sucked feminists asses … literally.

Why feminists? Everything in Avatar wants to show you that women are in control and rule the smurfs. Start with the bitch that Jakes conveniently falls in love (*pukes*). Ooooh she’s so tough, she’s so in charge here. Don’t mess with her but ooooh she has feelings toooo awww… And what about the most powerful entity of the movie? That’s right, a female force. This is most surprising when one knows that James Cameron has been dumped and divorced 5 times and is thus probably the most hated douchbag husband one can have…

As for the “story” of Avatar, better not go too deep into this. First of all, there’s nothing original in it. Awww poor marines who can’t walk, goes into alien civilization with an avatar to steal energy supplies but oh spoiler alert he falls in love with the chief’s bitch daughter and ends up fighting the evil humans… WHAT… THE… FUCK… Pocahontas anyone ? Dance with the wolves ? The Last samurai ?… and so on, you got the point. I mean, when someones asks for 500 million dollars to make a movie, I DEMAND a good story… nope, no story here. Also, it’s a science-fiction movie so to say… He could have designed the alien in a thousand ways but noooo, let’s make them 1. Native American like, 2. colored and 3. ecologist hippies… which makes the humans look 1. Assholes, 2. racists and 3. republicans… poor poor poor!

The 3D orgy. Fine, that would be the only breakthrough but hey, give me 500 million dollars and I’m sure I could somehow come up with some revolutionary technology. In conclusion, Avatar does NOT deserve all the attention it gets. The only good thing about it, there’s no Céline Dion… gotta spank that annoying loud bitch.

How about you? Did you like that piece of crap movie? If you did, please let us know with a comment so that I can ignore it.

(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

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